BYOC and weigh in

1. What’s your favorite smell? Smell, I think a lot of smells trigger good memories for me. One of my grandma's still wear Jean Nate (however you spell it) I remember it from wayyy back. My husbands shower soap is another one-old spice sport. A cheapy but a goody.


2. What is your all-time favorite movie and why? I love 80's movies like Breakfast club, but one movie that always brings me back is the Wizard of Oz. I used to watch it with my Grandpa all the time.


3. What’s your trigger food? I think we've established that I don't discriminate when it comes to food. lol. But I would totally say carbs are my downfall.


4. When someone you love is going through a difficult time – what are your go-to words to make them feel better – in just a sentence or two? I'm sorry is what I usually say. I also usually say "This sucks" because sometimes it just does. One of my grandfathers passed away 2yrs ago and it was really hard on us as a family. My mother in law (a southern lady) looked at me and said "Jenny, in your words, this sucks" And it did. But you do get through.


5. This one is always the same. Who is your nominee for the blog of the week for YOU? Which blog OR comment touched your heart, spoke to you, stuck with you all week? I hate to choose. I think Jen's kinda stuck with me this week because I"ve been struggling with the mental part of this journey. Not enjoying eating anymore like I used to. I also love the Amy W. got into her old skirt from HS! Makes me wonder what it will be like a year from now. And there are so many others.

As far as weigh in goes, I was up .6 So I was 207.8. Bummer, but I expected it. Keep moving forward!!

Measurements

The last time I posted my measurements was 3/21. Today I'm a month out from surgery so I wanted to post them again!

Neck was 15 inches now 13 3/4

Calves were 18 inches now 17 inches

Thighs were 28 inches now 26 1/2

Waist was 46 1/2 now 43 1/2

Hips were 54 1/2 now 52

Arms were 14 1/2 now 13

Boobs were 48 inches now 44

I'm happy with my progress so far. I just want to keep it off. I weigh in tomorrow, not sure how its going to go. I've been addicted to salt this week like no ones business!

We made it!

Here is a quick little diddy about our night! Literally just walked in the door so I look like crapola!

Make an on-line slide show at www.OneTrueMedia.com

First Fill

Hey Guys! I had my first fill yesterday and it went super smooth! I was a little nervous, but he found the port easy peasy. I have just over 2cc's in my band right now. I'm not schedule to go back for 6 weeks, but he said if I need to come back sooner, just call.

We are supposed to Zumba tonight-that is if the heavens align properly! My friend at work wants to walk at lunch, which is 3miles. So I think tonight I will be pooped! But I don't want to pass up an opportunity to work out with my buds.

NSV-I totally got checked out at starbucks this morning. Not gonna lie, it was nice and unexpected.

I didn't do the BYOC last week because I couldn't answer the question, "What do you hide behind". I don't like examining myself. But I've been giving this one a lot of thought.

I'm not really the funny girl or the shy girl. I think I'm the bitch. Now before anyone goes "DUHHHH!" let me explain. I think I take on the mentality that if I don't like you first, you can't not like me. I don't really have any friends other than my sisters. I have a lot of aquaintences, but not real friends. I set myself up that way though. My sisters have to put up with me because we're family-but friends leaves you open to rejection. Its really hard to even post this because I feel like I sound like a mean person. But I'm not really mean, just guarded. I have incredibly high standards, and most time people don't live up to them. I don't know how I got this way, but I do know that when I was younger I helped to take care of my brothers and sisters while my mom worked. I didn't really spend a lot of time out with friends like a normal kid. Maybe friends are out of my comfort zone?

I don't know this is getting to be a little much for me so I'm signing off! If you stayed with this one thanks! I know it was all over.

How did Zumba go?

Oh, I don't know we never got there! Why you might ask. Let me explain.

It started off well, my neighbor and I were in our exercise gear, water bottles in hand and kids with their daddys. I had a general idea of where the dance studio was so we started driving. Class started at 6 and we left at 5:30. The studio is only 5miles from the house according to Mapquest we should have plenty of time. Whoever invented Mapquest is an asshole. I will get to that.

We started driving, chit chatting-it was nice. We drove up the rode that the dance studio was on, looking.....looking.....looking. "I didn't think it was this far down" We turn around. Looking....looking....looking. Hmm. Back where we started. We turn around again. I call my husband to see if he can look it up on the computer for me. He tells me a general idea of where it is, which is what i thought but we still can't find it.

Thank God, Julie has a sense of humor otherwise it would have been miserable. We kept cracking jokes about why the heck we couldn't find this place. So now, I call 411. They have no listing for the place. Really??? Julie uses her phone for Google. We look it up, get the phone number. I call. Answering machine. WTF? And the answering machine is in spanish. mmm-K.

Our mission was to find this place. Even if we had to drive around all night. Well, at about 6:20 we finally found it. It was across the street from where we had been looking in another shopping center. By this time though the group would have already warmed up and we didn't want to go in late. We are both so anal about being early we felt like losers. So instead we made plans for Wednesday and went and did a walk for about 45minutes. I'm proud of us for still walking after such a frustrating drive.

Now, about mapquest being invented by an asshole. They need a mapquest for women with LANDMARKS!!!!! If they had just said the the dance studio is next to O'briens restaurant we would have know immediately where it was. I don't need to know East and West, give me a landmark. Oh, its near the CVS ok, I got it. Assholes.

To get the signatures

Click on the signature itself and it takes you to a website where you can create your own!!

Testing

Testing the new signature

Zumba tonight!

I'm super excited to finally get to Zumba tonight! I did wait until my neighbor could go with me because I'm a chicken, but I also had the UTI so I never quite made it last time. I'll let you know how it goes! Maybe I'll VLOG!!

New words.......by my 4yr old boy

Poop Juice. Huh??

Chris: Mommy, I have poop juice in my pants!
Me: Whaaat? Come down here.
Chris: WAAAH. I have poop juice in my pants!
Me: What the heck is poop juice?
Chris: Its coming out my butt.
Me: Is it like liquid poop and not ball poop?
Chris: YEAH.
Me: Oh. Get in the bathroom.

End Scene.

Weigh in day!!

207.2!!!!

After my first PB episode on Saturday and my wonderful UTI, I really didn't eat very much all week. So I'm not sure how long I can keep up with this loss once I start eating again, but I will take it for now!! Out of the 210's!!

I really wish I had just gotten the pills for the meds. I should have asked you guys first! At least now I'll know for next time. I only have a few more days left of the meds so I'll get through it.

I need to get some work done, but I'll try to post more later!!

Quickie Update

Back at work today. Hopefully I can leave early. Does anyone know when we can take pills again? The liquid medicine is awful. The good think about being home was I was able to catch up on the blogs at my leisure. I'll be busy tonight!

Now that I've had a chance to relax...

It still hurts. lol. I never knew that a UTI could hurt this bad. The dr. said that sometimes they have hospitalized people over UTI's. I'm glad that it was not me. I had to get the prescription in the liquid form and it is YUCK-OH!! Good lord, could they not make a medicine taste half way decent??

I'm hoping that since I have been able to eat much maybe this will jump start my weight loss. A girl can dream. As long as the pain subsides I'm going to go back to work tomorrow. I don't know now if I will be able to excersise this week. I'm guessing probably not. So back to walking it is.

Thanks for all the advice and wishes to get well. I appreciate it.

The verdict is in

Apparently I have a bad UTI. And of course started my period.

Wonderful.

Headed to the dr

the pain never went away. Still hurting-the appointment is at 8:45.

So, I didn't make it to Zumba-I need some advice maybe TMI

This morning I woke up and I was pretty nauseous, feeling achy and such. Made it to work fine. Mid afternoon my right side started to hurt. When I breathe in-I need to know if anyone had felt like this before. Its really painful-My DH thought maybe I needed to go number 2. Oddly I've been going, but maybe its not enough? Also, I'm less than a month out from surgery and they told me that I should stay off my core and not carry things, but today at work I had to carry stuff in for Lab Week. (another post, its a week long celebration for laboratory professionals) and I think maybe I carried too much. But I was sore this morning.

So my question is should I take something or did I pull something?

Zumba

So they have a class really close to my house for $5. I want to go, but I'm super nervous. I don't do well doing things by myself (which by the way makes the Chicago trip sooo weird.)

So, should I go to Zumba by myself or wait until a friend can go? I'm nervous about not being able to do the moves-either weight related or just my lack of coordination.

BYOC and Pics

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My Maddie

The kiddos at the beach and the big kids helping with the sandcastle

Stella!!! Stella!!

I picked the PERFECT name for my band. Stella. That is what I wanted to shout today at the top of my freakin' lungs. However, people would have stared. As if they weren't already. The day just sorta went from bad to worse. I really wanted to go to the beach today. When we finally got there the sun was gone. GONE. Really?? The water was chilly, but not awful so we stayed and the kids were having a blast running in and out of the water. Then I had the bright idea "lets go have some lunch". And this my friends is when Stella decided to make her first appearance.

I took about 3 bites of my PB&J sandwhich and felt it. The burn. And it was intense. I couldn't even talk. Now I know that some people have trouble with bread, but I had been fine. Until today that is. So, I can't talk and I motiion to my sister that I'll be right back. There weren't any bathrooms where we were so I tried to walk as far as I could from the main beach to the parking lot and finally I reached a bench. And I started to PB. Mother Effer. This was my first time so I wasn't sure what to expect. But I definately knew what it was because it looked like slime. I thought it would pass, but I spent the next 45 minutes PBing into the ocean. Again, the lack of bathrooms was an issue. Oddly enough I could hear Stella's evil laugh in the background. In between fits, we managed to get to the car and get going. Of course about 10 minutes into the drive I PB'd all over myself. I thought I only had to cough. NOPE, again Stella was laughing at me.

Stella is not afraid of the limelight. Not only was all of this in public, but it was infront of my sisters boyfriend too. UGH. Talk about embarrassing. I'm ok now, but it was really annoying not to be able to stop. I'm going to have some soup for dinner and try to take it easy. While I was standing knee deep in the ocean coughing/sliming my brains out I really started to second guess this whole process. I'm glad I have the band, but I never expected these episodes to be so painful. Nice deterant.

Is there anyway to make a PB episode go away?

Chicago update

I'm so glad that Amy W. posted that Tracey had some reservations, I thought that mine was the only one. I tried to explain to him that we are all friends, but he doesn't get it. I've shared more on this blog than with some people in real life. Anyways, I'm 95% sure that I'm going!!! I'm so excited, after being together for almost 11yrs he figures there's no use fighting me. I'll just nag him to death about it.

He did say though that he wants a picture of all of us wearing the shirts so he can see all the BOOBS. Somehow I think he was being dirty. I told him that I was going to blog about that!

Off to the beach with the kiddos, my youngest sister and her boyfriend. Hopefully I can post some pics later and do a BYOC Vlog!!

Official Weigh In Day #2

213.6

One of the things you will learn about me is that Math is not my strong suit. This morning on the way to work I thought I was down a pound, but when I did the actual math its only a 1/2lb. *&^%)#. I know that its at least in the right direction. I don't get my first fill until the 27th. I also know that I shouldn't just rely on my fills to get me through this. I need to have a little more self control. I'm .8 away from a 20lb loss.

On a positive note I walked my 8 miles for last week. So this week I'm going to up the goal to 10. Thanks to Amy W. I'm looking into a Zumba class in my area. I'm trying to rope a friend into going with me, I'm too chicken to go by myself.

I've been open about my surgery at work, but now that I'm back its kind of weird. People who I don't normally talk to are asking me about my weight loss-in the midst of a crowded room. People are asking to see my scars. I feel like a kid who just got new undies-pulling up my shirt all the time. Its just strange, I don't really love being the center of attention. I had a hard time at my wedding too. I'm weird, I know.

Walking goal met!

8/8 miles completed! Tomorrow is weigh in day. UGH. I loathe it and love it.

Thank you's and ???'s

First off, thank you to everyone that offered me a pick me up yesterday. I knew that I wasn't alone in parenting struggles, its just hard. We had a come-to-Jesus meeting last night and today was a little better. The little knuckle head is still my buddy.

As for my questions, I feel a little lost with the eating thing. Can you guys give me an idea of what your eating on a daily basis. I'm good about dinner, but I can't seem to figure out what to do for breakfast and lunch. Also, I'm having a really hard time getting my water in. Even with my kickass bottle! How do you do it? I tried telling myself that I can't eat until I finish the water, but then I chug it and feel sick. Not a good idea.

Thanks!!

Parenting

By far this is the hardest job I have ever had. Most days I feel like I do ok, but today is not one of those days.

My Dh leaves for work earlier than us, so I get the kids up and ready for school each morning. Most mornings the kids (like most kids) don't want to get up. On the weekends they have no trouble getting up early on their own but that is another post. Sometimes its harder to get them ready and today was one of those days. It always starts out the same, I try to be nice, rub their back not shout but it never ends that way. After an hour of on and off arguing to get up (taking the covers off of my son, turning lights on and of course the inevitably shouting) my son ended up in the car naked. He would not get dressed. I know you might be shaking your head, how do you let a 4yr old control you and tell you that he's not getting dressed, just make him. And I felt this way too-before I had kids. I feel horrible for the way that things happened this morning. I feel like there was a point during the argument where I could have gone down either path and somehow I chose the wrong one.

I don't know what that moment was, and I can't get it out of my head. By the time we got to school (I dressed him in the car) he was so upset, and so was I. He wouldn't calm down or walk so I had to throw him over my shoulder and carry him in. Which mind you because of the surgery I'm not supposed to pick them up so now I'm a little sore. Not to leave out all of the dirty looks I was getting from other parents dropping their darling children off. After getting him inside I stayed as long as I could to try and calm him down-about 10 minutes or so. We were already late so I couldn't stay long, but it didn't help. I left with him screaming after me and I feel terrible. I called the school of course to make sure that he had calmed down and they said that he's fine, and I'm sure that he is. But I'm not. What happend this morning???

How did I miss that sign that said this was going bad fast??

A little frustrated

I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around the mental aspect of the band. I'm not hungry exactly but I have cravings. I don't eat large amounts-but I'm pissed that I keep giving in to the craving. Its too early for bandster hell.

On a brighter note, I walked my 3miles at lunch today. So now I have 6/8 miles accomplished. I feel good about that.

First day back at work

Kinda stinky, kinda ok. Ya have to go back sometime right??

So I did a mile of excersise today so I'm up to 3 miles for the week. We had another great cooking light meal tonight. Porkchops, cheddar grits and cucumber and red onion salad. Since it was so good I have no lunch tomorrow!

Cooking light day one

Rosemary-Merlot Flank Steak, Garlic Roasted New Potatoes, Tossed Salad

Steak

1c chopped onion
3/4c low sodium beef broth
3/4c merlot
1tbsp fresh rosemary
1/2tbsp salt
1/4tbsp Italian seasoning
2 garlic cloves minced
1lb flank steak (I used a mock sirloin)
1tbsp tomato paste
2 tsps dijon mustard

1. Prepare grill
2. Combine first 7 ingrediants in ziploc bag. Add steak marinate in fridge for 20 minutes. Turn once. Remove steak, reserve marinade.
3. Grill steak, while steak cooks heat reserved marinade on stovetop bring to boil. Reduce heat and simmer until reduced by half.

Potatoes

1tbsp olive oil
1/2tsp salt
1/4 tsp italian seasoning
1/4 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp black pepper
4 cloves minced garlic
1 1/2 red potatoes

1. Preheat oven to 500

2. Quarter or halve the potatoes depending on size; coat with oil and seasonings

Review: It came out pretty good. I would definately make this one again.

Back on the wagon

We have bright house for cable and they have excersise tv on demand. And I found the Walk away the pounds videos. I used to do them a long time ago and they were pretty good. I found that once you get used to them you just need to add weights to the workout and it gets pretty intense, but its really good for beginners.

So this morning I did the 2mile walk. It takes a half hour so its quick and dirty. You could totally tell that I haven't worked out in FOREVER!! Oh well. I did it. I'm pretty happy about that. I would like to get 8 miles completed this week. So 6 more to go!

Have a relaxing Sunday!!

BYOC

1. If you could have lunch with a famous person who would it be and what would you order? (Thanks Jenny for this one)

I was really drawing a blank on this one. I'd love to spend time with the real housewives of NJ-minus Danielle. They remind me of home and I think we'd have fun. They're always laughing.


2. Where’s the furthest place you’ve traveled to?

Not far, we've gone on a couple of cruises so I guess jamaica? I'll be traveling to Canada for the first time next month for work so thats pretty big for me.


3. If you could describe yourself in 4 words – what would they be?

Sensitive, Honest, Loyal, Complicated


4. What’s one interesting thing about you we don’t know?

Growing up I wanted to be a soap star. Really. The fabulous clothes, hair and makeup-not to mention HOT love interests!!


5. Finally – whose blog spoke to you, stuck with you, stayed in your mind, resonated with you – this week – and why?

This one is hard because I worry that I will leave someone out. I can't really pick one because everyone hits some sort of nerve for me. I realized with this weeks blogs that there is a lot of soul searching on this journey whether we know it yet or not. And I'm really proud of the ladies who poured their hearts out this week. I admire each of you. For those who hit goal or who are close to goal I'm excited for you. And for those starting your journey, I'm right there with you.

My Official Weigh in day

I like to choose Friday for the official weigh in day. Its harder for me (at least in the past) to stay on track on the weekends so I feel like if I did "mess up" I'd have the rest of the week to work on it. So the official weight for this week is.............

214.4

I feel good about this loss. Not great, but good. I think I don't feel great because I haven't really had the chance to excersise much or anything. The loss was all from not eating and being on liquids-which felt like a diet. But moving foward. The goal this weekend is to come up with a meal plan for next week from my awesome new cookbook, and an excersise plan. I'm trying to be realistic and not have an all or nothing approach. I'm not really looking forward to going back to work next week. After two weeks of being out I got used to it! The relief of office drama.

In a little over a month I will be traveling to Canada for work and my mom is going to meet me there. I'm really excited, but a little nervous. It will be the longest time away from the kids. But my goal is to be under 200 by then. I know its a big goal, 14.4lbs in a months time, but if I don't make it at least I will be close. Gotta have goals right??

Have a great Friday!

New Books!

I went and got some books today that I had to share! I love cooking light. They use real ingredients which to me makes all the difference. It never feels like I'm on a diet when I eat their meals. I'm a cookbook whore, but I'm very particular. I like my recipes to have pictures. I fully believe that we eat with our eyes first and heck, if I'm making a new meal I want to know what its supposed to look like!! I'm trying to get the DH into cooking with me. I think he's a little worried that I may get thin and leave him. Silly bear. I told him that I've tried several times not to love him, but I always failed. For better or worse I love him. Anyway, I looked through this book and fell in love. I totally recommend it!



Onward. I have seen a couple of the ladies post about this next find by Geneen Roth. I've read her column that she had in one of the magazines, I think it was redbook and they were always pretty good. So I decided to pick up the book I'll let you know what I think. And any of you who are reading it or have read it I would love to know what you think/thought!!

I went to the Dr.'s office today for my post op follow up. He said that the incision are healing nicely and based on the feedback that I gave him I will probably be ready for my fill by my next appointment which is 4/27! According to their scale I weighed in at 217. Not bad, but I wish it was better. I'm not gonna lie. I felt that feeling of disappointment. I don't really know why because I'm down from 233 so really its a great loss from the start of the process. I don't even know what I was expecting.

The kids daycare called today and Maddie was running a fever, so I picked them both up and they will be home with me tomorrow. My last day of freedom. Oh, well. My large incision is still pretty sore so I'm really hoping that starts to feel better soon. Its also supposed to rain tomorrow, so hopefully it won't last all day.

Have a good night!!

Step away from the tater tots!

I ate too much tonight. I think its a mental thing. I was hungry but not ravenous. Oh, brother.

Tomorrow is my follow up appointment with the dr. so hopefully I will have more to post tomorrow.

Little Updates

I haven't posted in what feels like forever! I'm doing ok. My large scar hurts the most. TMI.....so stop reading now if you do not want to know. I had my first real #2 today. I spent about half the day in the bathroom crying because I was constipated. I took some milk of magnesia because thats what my doc recommended and still nothing. Finally later in the afternoon I finally felt some relief. It was just like the after childbirth first #2. Miserable. I hope though that maybe that was why I still felt so crummy.

So needless to say I'm sore. I haven't taken the pain meds in a few days, but I'm going to take them tonight. I'm still pretty swollen by the large scar. The others don't really bother me just the large one.

I need to keep better track of my food and water. I was keeping a paper log during the pre-op diet. I need to get back into that. I think I ate my dinner too fast tonight. I wasn't paying attention to the clock because my grandmother came over for dinner, and now I have a lump in my throat. I didn't eat that much, so I think I just ate it too fast.

I hope that I will have something more fun to post soon, I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow and see where I'm at, but I think I'm going to make Friday's the official day.

I caved.

I'm confessing. I had a can of potato soup. Half at lunch and the rest at dinner. I mashed the potato in my mouth, but I couldn't take it anymore. I was so hungry. I know I shouldn't have, and I will drink my protein shakes like a good girl tomorrow. But I feel better when I eat.

I'm a dork

Okay, so after my meltdown and the wonderful comments from my ladies; I decided to look over my paperwork from the dr. And apparently I only had to be on clear liquid for the first day, after that I was allowed full liquid. Well, slap my a** and call me Sally. I was practically near tears because I wanted something to eat and all this time I could have had the creamy soup.

So this morning we took a trip to Wally world to get some Easter stuff for the kids, and I picked up some creamy soup. I was a bad patient and had one this morning for breakfast before I've had any protein shakes. But I'll have my shakes soon. It was more of a mental thing I think.

As for my incisions, the large one is still pretty swollen. Like a good scale whore I've been checking everyday and the scale hasn't moved. So I guess I'm still pretty swollen. I managed to get a bra on for the Wally world trip. But then I had to take it off when we got home. It was resting on one of the incisions. I wish I could do more. Yesterday I vaccummed which I guess was not my best idea because afterwards I felt craptastic. Have a great day everyone!

a little depressed.

I'm really hungry today. I've been trying to drink my protein shakes, but I'm just sick of them. I'm sick of clear broth too. I really have a craving for creamy soup but I don't think I can "eat" anything until Sunday.

:( This is my pity party. I haven't really been hungry until today.