Wednesday, March 31, 2010


Please let me know if you are following me and I'm not following you! I try to keep up with the new followers, but I slack sometimes. I really want to be able to offer support to everyone so please let me know!!

Day 3-

I wanted to give an update on how the surgery went. My doctor was a little late on Monday starting the surgery so that was a little nerve racking. The cute little nurse (you know the kind you can't dislike because they're really nice) gave me my cocktail. I started to feel it pretty fast. Everything seemed a little fuzzy. I remember being wheeled into the operating room but I was out pretty quick. I remember being in recovering and waking up, but some nurse yelled at me for moaning. Apparently I was a risk for disturbing others. I didn't even know that I was doing it. Sometimes the nurses are great and then sometimes you get one like that.

I don't really remember anything else from Monday. I know I woke up in my room and my husband and some family were there but I was really in and out. Monday night wasn't so hot. I was really frustrated with myself because I couldn't walk around until about 2am. I was so shaky and I kept getting that clammy sweat. The kind you get when you drank to much.

Last night was a little bit better, but when I woke up at 4 I was in a lot of pain. I think I'm going to have to sleep on the couch because laying flat on my back wasn't helping. Oh, and I had a hernia that they repaired so the surgery took longer than planned. I haven't eaten much, I'm trying to get my water and protein shakes in but its hard when you aren't hungry.

So for now I'm still in some pain, I don't really like to take the pain meds so I'm trying to go without it. My DH is being great and very helpful with the kids. They ask every 5 seconds to see my boo-boos. They're fascinated. lol.

Thanks for all the support guys! I'm trying to catch up on the blogs that I've missed!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Quick Update

Just got home from the hospital. The dr. found a hernia that they repaired. I feel sore, but very tired. Thanks for all the kind wishes. will post more later!

Sunday, March 28, 2010

My Montage 3/28/10 at

The Big Day and BYOC

Tomorrow at 9am I will be banded! I can't believe it. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't nervous, but my excitement is super high. Its a weird feeling. I had a hard time sleeping last night and I expect more of the same tonight. I keep wondering what I will look like thinner. I've been over 200lbs for the last 10yrs. My biggest fear is that things will change. But I know you ladies/guys will keep me in check! So your mission if you choose to accept it is to keep me from turning into a horrible bitch! These last two weeks have not been pretty for my husband and I owe him big time. Due to the lack of calories I have been what they call QBU-Queen Bitch of the Universe.

I wanted to answer Drazil's questions: its in the vlog!!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Thanks guys!

I'm feeling better. I really needed the support. I know the band was my choice, but its still hard to go from eating to not eating in a short period of time.

The hospital called today to get some background info before I come in on Monday. I'm really excited. I've started to tell people at work, I've encountered some postive and some negative reactions. Oh, well. I figured that I would.

Great news, tomorrow night is date nigh for hubby and I. Haven't had one in so long. We're going to Bonefish and my youngest sister and her BF and going to watch the kiddos. It will be nice to have a restaurant meal again. No carbs though! I thought about having a glass of wine, but I don't want to get off track so I think I'll just have tea or water. Just to be out with him alone will be so nice. And I won't have to do the dishes!!

Thanks again for the support. I couldn't go this journey without you guys.

I'm so tempted to cheat

There are only 3 days left until my surgery and I'm so hungry. I've been really positive up until now, but I really feel like I could cry. I've had my shake, 40oz of water and a cup of chicken broth. You would think that my tummy would be the size of a frigging walnut by now and I would not be hungry.

I work with evil bitches too who brought in goodies for a birthday. I know it will be ok and I am really proud of myself for how well I've done so far. But I'm still hungry. :(

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Naming your band

After reading LD's blog about naming the band, it got me to thinking. I need a name. Monday is coming fast. I was thinking Stella. This way when it does something bad I can yell "Stelllllllaaaaaa"

P.S. this is what my brother name his first car, for the same reason. lol

I'm taking suggestions!

NSV for me!!

I really can't wipe the smile off my face! Last night the DH and I were sleeping and he rolled over to put his arm around me, it was across my stomach. And he says "Wow, your stomach is so much smaller" YEAH!! I said, really? And he said yeah. Then this morning I called him just to let him know I made it to work, and he mentioned it again!! Its just nice to hear since I've been working really hard at this pre-op thing.

On a silly note. I let Maddie dress herself today. I wasn't up for the battle. I'm going to try to post a picture later, lime green shirt, pea green dress with white polka dots, hot pink pants and black boots. Good lord. She then asked me "Mommy, don't I look cute??" And I told her, "Maddie all I can say is WOW!" with a smile of course. Didn't have the heart to crush her little spirit. At least its not picture day!!


Wednesday, March 24, 2010


Okay, How do you Vlog?? I looked up one true media, but as I have told you before I am technologically retarded.

<3 Thanks!!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The good the bad and the ugly

I'm going to start first with the ugly. I was eating my dinner (mind you it is my one real food meal for the day) and I went to stab my fork in my hamburger and it slid off my plate onto the dog and the dog ate it. Before I could even the say anything the F@#$%@G ate my freaking dinner. All I was left with was cauliflower. I hate that dog. I'm sorry to the animal lovers, but my dog and I have a love hate relationship. Right now its not good. So now I am sipping a cup of tea hoping this will help my hunger pains.

I went to the pre-op appointment. It was good. Long! Got all my stuff ready to go, I've lost 9lbs according to their scale so I was happy about that. They gave me a run down of future appointments.

  • Surgery 9am on Monday
  • First follow up on 4/8 (would have been 4/13 but dr. will be out of town)
  • 1st adjustment 4/27! 4 weeks out!! I'm excited about this. Maybe bandster hell won't be so bad.
Plus I get to start on soft food on 4/4!! Thank Goodness! There is an end in sight. The ugly is that I have to give myself injections of a blood thinner for about 5 days after surgery. Its not a big deal, but its new to me. So we will see how that goes.

So this weekend I'm going to go and get my stuff. What was helpful to you? They didn't really give me a list.

Thanks my beautiful bloggers!!

Pre-Op appointment in T minus 3hours!!!!

Can you tell I'm excited???

Monday, March 22, 2010

Food Porn

I have always loved the food network, but I only catch it every now and then. Now that I have started the pre-op diet I have become obsessed. I can't stop watching it. You would think that I would be dying not being able to eat and watching all the food. Am I challenging myself in some weird way to see if I'll cheat??

I will say this, Paula Dean and Jamie made an UH-MAZING White chocolate Key Lime pie. OMG, I was salivating. It looked God Bless America good!! (loving this phrase from Sandra Lee)

Lord help me.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

The camera doesn't lie

I wanted to post my before pictures and measurements before I melt away! So far I'm down about 7lbs on the liquid thing. Makes it worth it!

Weight at Dr. office - 233
Weight right now (no clothes) - 224
Height - 5'3ish

Left Arm- 14 1/2 in
Right Arm - 14 1/2in

Neck - 15in
Right Calf - 18in
Left Calf - 18in

BOOBS-48 freaking inches

Hips - 54 1/2
Waiste - 46 1/2

Right Thigh 28in
Left Thigh 28in

And now for the reveal......

Good Lord. I hate pictures. The best thing about these pictures is I won't have to see them again. I never had really taken my measurements before and I found out that my thighs are the circumference of some peoples waists!!! This would have been the time I turned to ice cream, but of course I'm not. Bandland here I come!!

Saturday, March 20, 2010

I love my blogger friends!

I'm sorry that I've had such a piss poor attitude. I lucky for a lot of reasons, and I should remember that. I know that I'm doing this for a reason and that this is temporary. Its just hard to change overnight.

My DH is usually a great guy, I think he just doesn't want to see me unhappy. I survived last night and I'll survive the rest of the days too.

We're off to play mini golf with the kiddos. Thanks so much for the support and patience!

Friday, March 19, 2010

Getting really pissed at my DH

He's eating dinner and he keeps asking me if I want any.

Seriously. I'm so pissed. I think I may go to my room. :(


I received a call from the nutritionist. Apparently I had the whole pre-op diet thing wrong. I thought I could eat a sensible meal and be fine, no. No carbs. Meat and green veggies. Thats it.

Uh-huh. That was my reply. I know its only for a short period of time. So today will be boca burgers and asparagus. I just got back from publix. Pure effin torture. Everything looked so good I could have held someone hostage.

What a day! :)

Thanks to everyone for the congrats wishes! I only had a minute to post yesterday and I was so excited that I didn't want to wait until today! It was about ten to five and I looked at my phone and said out loud-I guess another day went by. About five minutes later it rang! They were calling to confirm my payment that was due at the next appointment on Tuesday. So after getting that info, I asked the woman if they had heard anything becuase I started the liquids and was hoping to hear soon. And then she says ever so casually-Oh yeah I have your authorization in front of me. You're fine. HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL! Could we not have led the conversation with that?????

Of course I freaked. I couldn't sleep last night actually. I'm full of emotion. Scared, excited, nervous. Mostly excited. I'm glad that I decided to stick with the therapy because one of the fears I have is that it will change who I am. Not in a bad way necessarily, but I think that there are a lot of things that I don't do because I feel like everyone is looking at the fat girl in the room. My DH thinks I'm nuts. But I really wonder what I will look like thinner. I haven't been under 200 lbs in 10 years.

I will be posting some before pics this weekend! I'm so excited to do those. I hate taking pictures, but these I can live with! And I'm going to do my measurements too. On a side note, I'm curious how much weight did you guys lose from pre-op to 6wks? I have to travel to Canada at the end of my 6wk post op for work, and I was wondering if I will be able to buy any new clothes?? BTW, I totally know I'm getting ahead of myself!

Have a great FRIDAY!!!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

I got the call!!!!

Surgery approved! I have my pre-op on Tuesday and then surgery March 29th!!!!!

Day 1 of the pre-op diet

Well, I haven't heard from the insurance company yet so this is really a good faith pre-op diet! lol. Oh, well. My doc said that I can eat one meal per day. Today I'm going to do lunch. I had the Atkins shake for breakfast, Lunch will be a peanut butter sandwhich on double fiber bread, a bananna and a greek yogurt. I want to eat a large lunch but still be healthy. I'm not going to force it down though, and I will eat for the 30 minutes. And then dinner is the shake. Yumm-oh! :P

And, my co-worker needs me to go to Publix today and pick up some ice for the office! So I need to go to the grocery store on the first day of liquids? Sure, why not!!

But enough griping. I forget who did this first, but I want to make a list of what I am thankful for today! I've bitched enough this last week!!

  • I'm thankful for my kids. They drive me crazy but I wouldn't be the same without them. They are healthy and I thank god for that.

  • I'm thankful for my husband. We have not always had the easiest of times, and although there have been times that I wondered if we would make I could not deny how much I was in love with him. Even after 10 years, my heart still skips a beat when he kisses me.

  • I'm thankful that I have a job with insurance that is allowing me the opportunity for this surgery. I know I'm frustrated right now, but I am lucky.

  • I'm thankful for these blogger buddies! I never thought that this blog would be such a source of comfort, hope and inspiration.

These are just a few, I hate to be mushy for too long!! And I'm sure I will be back to bitching in no time!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Day 5-no coke

I do miss it. I"ve wanted one so bad. But I haven't given in. I'm down 4lbs according to my scale. I've been really trying to eat better and smaller portions. I'm supposed to start the liquids tomorrow. The doctor said that I can have one meal per day. I think I'm going to use it for lunch. Origionally I thought dinner, but I think I'll be too tempted at work. At least at home I can go to bed. I may change my mind again-who knows.

I've been tracking my food, water and excersise intake. I'm still bummed about not hearing yet about the authorization, but LD ( was right. They wouldn't have scheduled the surgery (although tenative) if they thought I wouldn't get approved. I'm trying really hard not to forget that.

I was wondering about after surgery-did any of your doctors fill your band when they put it in? Do you feel different after surgery or not until your first fill?

Thanks guys!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Help me liven up this blog!

I love the templates that everyone has but I no idea how to get them. I've seen some websites, but where do you copy the jibberish into? If you have not already guessed I am technically challenged. I make my DH read the instructions to ev-er-y thing and then tell me how to use it.

Your help is appreciated!! :P

The Pre-Pre Op Diet

So ever since my last visit with the dr. I've been trying to eat better, get my vitamins in and my water. I've been doing pretty good. Practicing measuring the food and eating slowly. This has been hard because I am so used to wolfing down my food. I have broken up with Coke. I miss him terribly and have wanted to give in several times. But I know that its just a bad relationship.

Speaking of giving in, I called the insurance company again. They still say that they do not show anything in the system for me. I called the dr. again, they said that they did get a "successful fax" report when the sent it. But I asked if they could call and check. She said that they often say that there is nothing in the system and then call back an hour later with the authorization. I'm just nervous that since they gave me a tentative date that its not going to work out in time. I'm supposed to start the pre-op diet on Thursday for crying out loud.

Oh, well. I'm can't change it. I'll just be mopey.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Called the insurance company

I couldn't resist. For a second time. The don't show anything in the system yet. Now they say authorization can take 3-5 days. POOP.

I shouldn't be irritated, I just started the process. So why am I?

I just realized

that I've already eaten all of my food for today-except dinner. CRAP. I hate the first day of a diet.

My phone rang earlier and I swear my heart was going to leap out of my chest. But it wasn't them. Poop.

Patiently waiting

Yeah, right. I'm dying right now! I wish they would call with the authorization already. I'm so impatient.

Food Review-I'm having greek yogurt for the first time. I think its a cross between sour cream for the texture and cottage cheese for the taste. Pretty good. This one has honey you can mix in. At 10grams of protien, this can become a staple.

PS, I'm loving my water bottle!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

New Goodies :)

Went to Target and got some goodies! These are to measure my food obviously! Since when I cook I hardly measure. I didn't realize I didn't have a whole set. Bakers across America are gasping right now! Can you see them?

And I got the famous waterbottle!! When I came home and was showing off the waterbottle, my husband asked the typical question "And how much did that cost?' And my response was "But all my blogger friends have one!"

Needless to say he wasn't impressed. I however thought it was very clever. I can't wait for Monday-just to see if they call. I'm so impatient. We are off to the zoo. Today is my son's 4th birthday. We have irish twins! Sort of. They are just shy of 13 months apart. What we we thinking!!??

Have a great Sunday!

Friday, March 12, 2010

Holy Moley!

Dr.'s office called, no approval yet (only 24hrs :) ) But they want to schedule my pre-op appointment for March 23rd! And surgery for.........................

March 29th!!!!!!!!! OMG! OM effin G!!! So nothing is in stone obviously but I'm freaking out!

My liquid Lovah

My liquid lovah and I have had another date. I've decided to forgive him his indiscretion with Mary. He never loved her anyway. It was all about the bubbles. But soon, I will have to bid him goodbye. And I will be sad, but its necessary.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

I cannot stop my mind from racing.

I called the dr. office, the therapist DID fax the letter over this morning so they were in the process of faxing the info to the insurance company! I cannot think of anything else. Its official-I'm obsessed.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

One more update for today

So I had to run downtown to the therapists office and sign a release form so they could fax a letter to the dr. All set. She should be sending it to the dr. tomorrow morning who will the fax the approval request to the insurance company! They say 2-3 days so at best maybe Friday???

AH! I'm so excited. I'm trying to be realistic and remember that I don't have approval yet. I'm really focused on the positive but every once in a while that evil voice gets in my head and says its not going to happen. It would be such a let down. I'm breathing my way through it.

Ok, I'm starting to feel anxious.

Thanks so much for the positive comments. I realize that I really rely on this blog for support. Don't get me wrong, DH and my family are supportive, but there is nothing like talking to someone who is or has gone through it. I heart you guys!!

I called the office to let them know that I took all the tests yesterday so they can hook up to the hospitals computer and look at the results. I'm waiting to hear back from the therapist, but I don't want to hound her, so I will wait to call until tomorrow if I don't hear from her today.

Work is crazy busy and with this stuff running through my head I'm going nutso! Dr. said that if we can get my pre-op started around the 25th/26th we could schedule the surgery for April 5th! Holy Mother, I am so anxious.

this is mainly just rambling because I'm nervous. Sorry!!

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Quick Update

Oh, the adrenaline is pumping. So Awesome 1st appointment. Dr. went over medical history, whether or not I'm a good candidate etc. Not a lot new since I just went to two seminars, but I really liked the Dr.

Met with the nutritionist who was super nice. Sometimes subject matter experts come across as condescending, but she was really down to earth-which I thought was refreshing.

Met with the coordinator, also super nice, here is our first hiccup. I can't travel for 6wks after surgery to avoid blood clots. Why is this an issue? I'm supposed to travel for work to Canada in May. So unless I get all my Shiz together by next week I have to wait until I come back. That would set me back until June. But she thinks that she can accommodate me if I get my stuff. OH-kay. She said that I could go next door to the hospital and see if I could schedule labs there. So right when we were done and went over and they were able to see me right away! AWESOME!

So, I got my chest x-ray, EKG and blood work done by 6;30pm. I left a message for the therapist to see if she could write the letter for me within the next couple of days. As soon as they have the letter they can submit it to my insurance, pending a 2-3 day turn around time I may still be able to meet the goal that they need!!!! So I'm asking for prayers! Things have been great so far, so I need it to continue. If I can get all of this going, the surgery would be scheduled for sometime the week of April 5th!!! I'm totally freaking out. I cannot tell you how fast I am typing this!

Since my BMI is not terribly high, he said that he's not too concerned about my liver so I would need to do pre-op diet for 7-10 days. I figured this was average, so no biggie. I have to give up my secret lovah. Coke. Ah, I will miss him. His bubbles make me tingle. But its necessary. He hasn't been good to me. I heard he's cheating with Mary (Band me...I'm ready! )

So this actually was not a quick update. And I realized I'm a total valley girl using super and awesome way too much! Thanks for hanging in there with me!

Monday, March 8, 2010

Tomorrow, Tomorrow I love ya tomorrow...........

I won't damage your eardrums with my singing.....but I am super-duper excited about tomorrows appointment. Its at 2:30-did I mention I'm excited????

What can I expect for this first appointment?

I've been really behind on reading the blogs this weekend, we celebrated my kids' birthdays with family so I've been busy cleaning and such. Will catch up tonight and tomorrow!!

Thanks guys!

Thursday, March 4, 2010


Okay, normally I really HATE accepting charity, but my grandmother offered to loan me the $525 to see the first doc and I have an appointment for Tuesday at 2:30!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so happy I could scream-but I won't because I think my cube mate would freak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Ways to make $$

  • Sell my blood
  • Sell my body
  • sell off one of my kids

Just joking-unless someone is willing to make an offer!

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

You are cordially invited to my pity party.

I'm putting a warning on this post that I cannot control what I am typing so if you are offended by venting and strong language please turn the page.

This post is going to be hard for me to write. I'm really upset right now. I want to cry and not get out of bed. I went to my 2nd seminar and after specifically asking the office if there were any fills based on what I experienced at my first seminar they told me no. Fast forward to the first 30seconds of the seminar. There is a $300 first office visit fee and a $120 pre-op fee for the protein shakes(you don't have to use his), and you HAVE to go to one of his recommeded psychologists. So another co-pay IF they take my insurance, if not $250. WTF!!!!!!!

Did I not SPECIFICALLY ask if there were fees??? I get the fees, but I would like to know in advance. Of COURSE the $300 is due upfront, OF COURSE the $120 is also due shortly thereafter, and OF COURSE the time I have spent with my own psych is not enough.

I really did like the surgeon. He was personable, but cocky-as most are. I'm so scared that this is not going to work for me. Why is this so hard? I'm just frustrated. I really thought that after this seminar I would be able to make my first appointment. Instead I feel defeated. Defeated. WTF. I can't even talk to my husband about it because if I talk about it I think I might cry. I realize that its not the end of the world or anything and I'm sure that people are dealing with more problems than me. I'm just pissed.

Not sure where to go from here. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning or maybe I'll still be having my pity party.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Needing some advice

Okay, so inorder to qualify for the surgery I had to gain some weight. And since gaining the weight I have let you all know how it has effected me in the not so positive way. Well, folks I have another and I need your advice.

On Saturday we had breakfast (fast food) I will interject here to say I was/am not making great food choices right now. And probably 3-4hrs later I went to the grocery store to do some shopping. When I got back I was starving. So this was 4-5hrs after having eaten breakfast. I got the shakes. This hasn't happend to me in a while. We had lunch. A tuna sandwich on rye and some doritos. I felt better initially, took the dog for a short walk-10 minutes if that. Then when I got back I felt really weak. I couldn't even pick up the kids because I didn't have the arm strength. If I really concentrated I could squeeze my hand so it wasn't bad, but I felt really tired. So I laid down for about an hour and felt a little better.

Now fast forward to today. Again had breakfast around 7 or so, and before my 11am meeting I started to feel really shaky again. So I grabbed a soda because if it was low blood sugar that shoud fix it (its a coke-my secret lover). But I still feel shaky. Should I go and get my blood checked? Sorry if this is cut up a little.