3 month Bandiversary

First I want to thank everyone for their advice. I'm still stuck in the middle. I tend to lean more toward what dinnerland said because I don't think this situation will get much better-if the woman truly has someone that she wants to bring with her. I have been applying for as many jobs as I can, but they all have the "Don't call us, we'll call you" mentality. So we shall see how this plays out. I'm trying to stay as upbeat as I can, but as you know I cannot lie (unless of course its about the cost of something!) . Its hard, but life is hard sometimes. And sometimes, things just suck ginormous donkey balls.

Today is my 3month bandiversary! Its not my official weigh in day, but the scale is holding steady at 198.something so I'm down from 233. Thats 35lbs. I'm super happy with that loss because I know that its gone for good! I need to work harder at getting into some sort of workout routine. I've been doing well with my mini goals from last week so I decided to keep them for this week. I'm going to try to work out some sort of exersise schedule for next week. I have an appointment with the dr. today so I will post my comparison shots later. I took my measurements the other day so I'll post those too!

My buzzed vlog

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

Fridays weigh in.........

198.8! I met my mini goals for this week. For this new week I really need to increase my exersize. I know its important. I'm going to give my mini goals some more thought today and see what happens.

I may do a vlog later to update on my job situation because things have gotten a little worse. I use that term relatively. Actually I'm not sure how I've made it through this week. To give you a preview, my current boss told my new boss (who I haven't met) that I'm negative, I struggle with the job and I'm inconsistant. How do I know this? Oh, my current boss told me she said it. Yep, you read that right. Its definately a vlog worth story. Since getting all of the information I have been a little down in the dumps. I haven't been commenting on the blogs, but I have been reading them. I promise to start comments soon. I'm going to catch up this weekend. I'm so glad its Friday. I need a break from seeing certain peoples faces.

Just a warning the vlog may be a buzzed vlog and may have cursing. You have been warned!

Wrinkled Wednesday

I feel like life is a little wrinkled right now. Things aren't awful just a little imperfect. I think I'm getting my new boss around mid July. I'm not sure how I feel about this yet, its really too soon to know. I won't be meeting her before hand so its hard to get a feel for what her style is. I just changed my hours at work to 7:30-4 and this has been awesome with the kids. We are able to get home by 5 and have a nice dinner like a real grown-up family. When we were getting home before dinner was always so rushed. Now if I could win the lotto and not work at all I'd be set! LOL

I have been having some really bad days lately. I got into an argument with a co-worker who is a friend yesterday and I wound up crying-twice. Mainly because I was so angry. We are fine now and the issue is over but I hate that it even started. Draz talked yesterday about fitting in with your family, I don't feel like I fit in at work. Its hard to spend 8hrs a day here. My current boss doesn't really let me help with things unless they are crap jobs like photocopying. I've had the conversation with her several times, I've reached out across the network to other administrative assistants (we are a national company) to get their advice and ask what their daily list looks like and have taken ideas back to my boss, but she won't budge. She says she just doesn't have anything to give me. So I get stuck with all the stuff no one wants to do. And I know that I am capable of more than that.

I also don't have the same background as everyone here. They are all college educated and PHD's. I'm more of a learn on the job girl-street smarts etc. I think in a way they look down on me for that. No job will ever be perfect, and I think that I've dealt with jerks at every job I've had, but this is really the one time I've never really felt part of the team. Maybe this will change with the new boss coming in. I've tried applying for some jobs outside the company but we all know what the market is like and I haven't heard anything from any of them. I think its just bringing me down. As much I would like to be guarded, I wear my feelings.

On a high note, I have been sticking to my goals so far and have done pretty well with my eating. I have had a cupcake and that pesky twix bar but the scale said 198.4 today so I'm happy about that. I almost did a vlog last night, but I had a glass of wine and was a little buzzed.

As always thanks for letting me vent. I appreciate the outlet.

Mondays and Mini goals

This weekend was so busy. The kids wake up so early that I feel like I never get to bed! The scale still 199.8 today so I'm thrilled! My husbands boss is having a get together on 7/17 thats 4 "weigh ins" away. I would like to lose 10 more pounds by then and I really think I can do it. My mini goals this week are:

• Plan, Plan Plan
• Excersise or do something for 10minutes a night (I know this isn't intensive but I feel like to get back into the swing of things I need to start small and focus on some consistancy)

So today, I had some Fiber One pancakes with blueberries in them, a few ounces of cheese, 2 slices of chicken with cranberry sauce and 1 slice provolone cheese and a twix. I didn't plan the twix but this has been a shit*tastic day at work. Bad stress eater. But whatever it was what it was. :P

Tonight the plan is to hit publix for dinner, spend 15 minutes cleaning out a room that is a disaster, 1 load of laundry and FINISH the dishes! I have a habit of leaving them to "soak" since the dishwasher busted. I'm trying to make a to do list each day too. Maybe it will help me focus?

Free Ice Cream Maker give away!

http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com/

Go over to this blog! Shelly is celebrating her 4 year post surgery anniversary and birthday! And to celebrate she's giving away an ice cream maker! AND she has recipes for protein ice cream that look delish!!

Fridays weigh in & BYOC

I hit 199! I'm excited but its still too close to the 200's for me to get wild over it. I celebrated by going to a jewelry/scentsy part on Friday. It was fun. I went with someone from work. I never really rewarded myself for any weight loss, so I bought a really pretty sterling silver bracelet. When I get it I'll take photos. It was $74-which was so expensive to me, but it was my 30lb loss reward. I'm down now 33lbs, so I may get the matching earrings at 40lbs. I forgot to check the price on those!

BYOC

1. If your heart had a singing voice, whose would it be?
Someone who really can't carry a tune, think Cameron Diaz in my best friends wedding.

2. What is your most disgusting habit?
Total popper and skin peeler.

3. Carmen and Drazil were talking about Chicago and their fears...for those of you going (and those of you not you can answer as if you were going)...what is your biggest fear?
Meeting everyone and not making any friends. I know its lame, but I worry that everyone will get a long and I'll be an outsider.

4. This isn't so much a question but a challenge. Name one thing you will do for just one day next week in the name of health and commit to it on your blog and to us.
Bring my meals to work! If I chose to go out with the girls thats ok, but it will not be out of desperation!

5. Whose blog or comment stuck with you the most this week?

This one is always hard for me because I really enjoy reading everyones blogs. I really love all the progress photos and seeing how far everyone has come.

If I'm not following you

Please let me know!! Not everyone's blog address shows up in the profile and I want to follow everyone!!

PS thanks for the comments yesterday. I know I'll get through it, I'm just struggling right now.

Uninspired.

I'm having a poopy day. I'm unispired to plan my meals and workout. I need to get out of this "I-hate-my-job" funk.

Awards!

LegalMommy nominated me for an award! Very excited. Check out her blog if you are not a follower already at http://patienceprogressperseverance.blogspot.com

Ok, so I am supposed to tell you 7 things about myself.......................

1. I love all things that sparkle.
2. I still think that something is going to grab me when I get into bed at night.
3. I heart "reality" tv. Real housewives are NJ especially.
4. I am the oldest of 5 kids.
5. I love to make cards and paper crafts, however I never send the cards.
6. I detest plain milk.
7. I hate driving my loser cruiser. AKA the mini van.

And now to nominate 7-this is the hard part because I truly enjoy all of the blogs I read. So I am taking the chickens way out an nominating everyone!

On the band front and other wise. I heard from the surgeons office and the Dr. decided that he really wants someone with a medical background so they'll keep me on file. I'm glad at least they looked at the resume. And who knows, maybe in the future it will turn into something. Weight wise, I'm having massive cravings which is so weird because AF has left the building. Oh, well.

A mixed bag of nuts

That would sum up how I feel today! Thanks so much for the comments about the job thing. I sent the office my resume and we will see what happens. Unfortunately I/we as a family have gotten quite accustom to my salary and it would be a big decrease in pay. Brian thinks that I should also give the new boss a shot-a point to which I do not disagree, I just don't really enjoy what I'm doing and haven't for a while. So we will see.

On the weight loss front, I'm pissed because I never saw 199 again! Hopefully I will this Friday! I need to stop rebelling and plan some meals. I'm not eating a lot thanks to the last fill, but I have to start focusing on my protein more. I'm starting to lose my hair which I know is a sure sign that I could be doing better!

Maddie's graduation was wonderful. I balled like a baby when we got there, but I was ok. Our family took up the whole pew (11 of us). Not to brag, but she sang every word to every song. Ok, I'm bragging! I was so happy to see that she did so well. There was a big crowd, but she had a HUGE cheering section. After the ceremony we went back to my grandmothers for a pool party/BBQ. The kids had a blast and that was exactly what I wanted. My mom, brothers and sisters left last night. This was a quick trip. It sucks when they leave. I know we can't all live next door to each other, and we fight like crazy but I miss them terribly when they go.

I know its cheesey, but this was an NSV for me and I have to share it. On Saturday we were taking the kids home and Brian said "If you're lucky, maybe you'll get some tonight". And I said "Oh, please when I get home, you'll be asleep" (I was going to the movies with my sisters and mom) Here's the NSV part, he goes "I don't know the way you looked in your bathing suit today with your cleavage I might jump you" . I know its tacky but he NEVER says stuff like that! So for him to say it was so sweet. I honestly think I blushed. 11 years together and I'm blushing.

I will update some pics later! Hope you guys had a great weekend!

Holy Mother of Pearl!

Ok, I do NOT know where to start. And honestly you will probably not think that these things are as big a deal as I do but I'm feeling stressed!! Today is a list day!

• My company is being sold. This I knew, but they have asked my b*o*s*s* (using dinnerlands trick :) ) to take a step down. What does this mean for me? A new boss is probably less than a month. Yeah, it could be good or it could suck. I don't really feel that great about it. For more details than you care to know.
• I weighed in at 199.4!!! What-what!! I am so excited, but not too excited since I can't really count it until tomorrow and knowing the scale gods it could all be in vain.
• I have off tomorrow to prep for Maddie's graduation! So much to do but I am so excited. I cannot wait for her special day.
• I went in for the ultrasound and they said they didn't see any cysts and they don't really know if they have found the problem. THANKS!! Any ways, I should hear from the dr. tomorrow on next steps.
• My bariatric surgeons office has an open for administrative duties. So I called to see what they were considering and although they'd prefer someone with a medical background she said that it would be great to have someone in the office that has actually had the surgery! So I sent in my resume! I don't know what will come of it because right now the position is only part time, and financially it would be extrememly hard. Also there are no benefits part time. But they are in the middle of getting their Center of Excellence accredidation and then their volume would go up so they would need full time. Also I would be employed by the hospital and not the Dr. directly so I think they have pretty good benefits. All I know is I need to keep my options open.

What do you think of the changing jobs thing? I know that its hard to tell what this lady would be like but I'm really scared to be without a job.

Very Brief

So I went to my appointment and they wound up doing a pap, scheduling me for an internal ultra sound and a urine culture for next Wednesday. All fine by me. I was crampy after the appointment which I know is normal, but by the end of the night the pain had returned on my right side. Its a little better today, but still pretty strong. I've left a message for the Dr.'s assistant to see if I should come in or wait it out. I'm honestly a little pissed right now. I know that the Dr. can't magically tell me whats wrong but she almost made me feel like I imagined it. Because my body must be going through so many changes after this surgery/weight loss.

Sorry for the sarcasm. I just really can't afford to take more time off of work, but I don't know what to do. I'll let you know if I hear back. Thanks for the thoughts.

Never a dull moment-may be TMI

So lets start with the good news. I weighed in on Friday and was down to 203! Today I weighed in at 201.6 but I'm not really counting it until Friday because thats what I use as the official weigh in day. But I think (not to jinx it) that this last fill is working. Thank goodness!!

Saturday is Maddie's preschool graduation. I'm getting some stuff ready for a family bbq. Super excited because my whole immediate family is flying down! We are going to take up the whole space!! But thats what its all about right?!

So onto the crappy stuff. Last week I was having pain in my side again I figured it was another UTI so I was treating it myself with cranberry juice. I was also spotting. This is exactly what happened to me last month so I figured I would go to the dr. if it got worse. Well on the third day it wasn't worse but it wasn't better either, so I went to my primary. Had the urine analysis and there were no white cells, but there were red. So it was not a UTI like I had thought. They recommended that I see a GYN because it could have been a ruptured cyst. THANKS!! I know I shouldn't be so sarcastic but this is not how I wanted to spend my vacation time. So, I call a GYN that the girls at my work use. They can see me today (the call happened on Friday). Ok, since I'm only spotting no big deal right???

WRONG! On Sunday the flood gates opened and sent me back to my teenage years of having to change clothing. Seriously. So Monday I call the dr. back and tell them what happened and ask if we should reschedule. They urged me to come in anyway and talk to the dr. "We can always order an internal sonogram for a later date" OH, so we are already there. I don't know why I am so weirded out. I hate waiting-of course you should all know this by now. I'm am not a patient person and I hate not knowing whats wrong with me. If there is anything wrong with me. My periods have always been erratic. But never this painful. And to top it off I'm going through tampons every 1-2 hrs. WTF??? And lets not even start talking about the clotting. Sorry if this is gross. I'm just annoyed. So I'll be leaving work again at 12. The appointment is at 1, so I hope I get some answers.

Thanks for listening to me gripe. I appreciate being able to vent.

Hey Folks!

I don't know where to begin. I have fallen off the wagon and I'm trying to get back on. I went to the dr. yesterday to see if they could give me a fill. I just wasn't feeling anything from the last one. I got the fill, .4cc and this morning I was having some left over soup for breakfast and I slimed. On soup! But I think maybe I was just going to fast. I'm going to be careful today just in case. I really hope that this is my sweet spot-at least for a little while. My weight hasn't really changed in the last 3weeks. I don't feel bad about my weight loss, but I would really like to kick it into gear. My goal is to get under 2oo by July 4th. It would be a huge victory for me having not been under 200 in forever!

On the home front, things are ok. I think I need a date night. We haven't spent any alone time together and I think thats why we've been butting heads lately. This is kind of rambly but I wanted to post something-

Everyone have a great Wednesday!!