By far this is the hardest job I have ever had. Most days I feel like I do ok, but today is not one of those days.
My Dh leaves for work earlier than us, so I get the kids up and ready for school each morning. Most mornings the kids (like most kids) don't want to get up. On the weekends they have no trouble getting up early on their own but that is another post. Sometimes its harder to get them ready and today was one of those days. It always starts out the same, I try to be nice, rub their back not shout but it never ends that way. After an hour of on and off arguing to get up (taking the covers off of my son, turning lights on and of course the inevitably shouting) my son ended up in the car naked. He would not get dressed. I know you might be shaking your head, how do you let a 4yr old control you and tell you that he's not getting dressed, just make him. And I felt this way too-before I had kids. I feel horrible for the way that things happened this morning. I feel like there was a point during the argument where I could have gone down either path and somehow I chose the wrong one.
I don't know what that moment was, and I can't get it out of my head. By the time we got to school (I dressed him in the car) he was so upset, and so was I. He wouldn't calm down or walk so I had to throw him over my shoulder and carry him in. Which mind you because of the surgery I'm not supposed to pick them up so now I'm a little sore. Not to leave out all of the dirty looks I was getting from other parents dropping their darling children off. After getting him inside I stayed as long as I could to try and calm him down-about 10 minutes or so. We were already late so I couldn't stay long, but it didn't help. I left with him screaming after me and I feel terrible. I called the school of course to make sure that he had calmed down and they said that he's fine, and I'm sure that he is. But I'm not. What happend this morning???
How did I miss that sign that said this was going bad fast??
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When I have moments like that (and I have a lot of them with my 3 year old), it mostly means he's getting sick. He gets EXTRA evil when he's about to get sick. I hope you don't beat yourself up over it too much...it happens to ALL of us! Even the stupidheads who dared to give you dirty looks!
ReplyDeleteMy whole life is like that! I have a 5 and a 2 year old and yesterday was awful, no awful that I started blogging about but then deleted it, I didn't want to read it again and i'm sure that if I reacted diffently it wouldn't have happened.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say that it happens to us all, even the people who say it doesn't!
My 5 year old has just been taken out for the afternoon by a school friends parents (school holidays in the UK) I had to stop myself doing a happy dance as I closed the door!!
It is a constant struggle. I have a 3 year old and both my DH and I work full time. I feel like all I do is yell at him or put him in time out these days. ALways an argument in the morning on getting dressed eating breakfast etc and then always an argument at night when going to bed or not getting what he wants. I try not to gove in all the time but I feel so gulity as it is working full time I do not want to spend the time we do have argueing etc....it was just a super off day I am sure. Iknow I should say dont worry he is fine but its easoer said than done...
ReplyDeleteIt happens Jenny, somehow you and they will outgrow it and than before you know it, they will be going off to college and getting married! Trust me, been there.
ReplyDeleteI have two daughters who are 4 and 2 and needless to say, I've had this exact morning! No one is the perfect parent and I know I do more screaming than I care to admit, but it's all just part of the job. I'm sure my mom screamed at me more than once and I turned out just fine (minus this whole weight problem. LOL). Hang in there! Just remember there are better days ahead.
ReplyDeleteif anyone ever says their kids are angels and they are a perfect parent, they are lying their ass off. We all have problems, but sometimes you just have to do what you need to do to get though things and move on. When you get home you should talk to him and explain why things happened this way this morning and that his behavior was not acceptable. I would say soemthing like, "I'm sorry I got mad this morning, but you shouldn't have been acting that way"...It sounds so trite when i write it out, but I wish you the best!
ReplyDeleteYou're a great mom. Just like losing weight, every day is different, some good, some bad. But you got him up and he was dressed when you plunked him down at school. Happens to us all. My son used to dress with his clothes inside out and no way would change them. When he came home they were right side out--found out later it was because he changed for gym.
ReplyDeleteGive yourself a break-you have not traumatized him for the rest of his life-in fact I am sure he won't even remember it tonight. Being a mom is the hardest job in the world and I think you're doing great!
Every parent has these days. You are doing the best you can. Some days it works out better than others. I have been locked in those kinds of power struggles with my kids before and have said, "Can we start over?" then we hug and it completely diffuses the situation. But someimes I don't do that and I end up feeling horrible all day.
ReplyDeleteEvery age has it's pros and cons. My 14 yr old gets herself up and out before I even wake up and I think "Geez, where did my little girl go?" Sometimes I miss those more dependent days, but then I read posts like yours and think maybe not. :-)
ReplyDeleteGotta love toddlers! I'm sure most parents there understood because it has happened to us all. My two year old would not sit in the cart at the grocery store today. She screamed the whole ride in the parking lot. Good times.
ReplyDeleteI could have written that post. My daughter is a great kid, but I have those moments where I lose my temper out of nowhere. Then later I think she's so little how could I have done that?
ReplyDeleteIt's universal - we're human and kids can be frustrating. In the end the amount of support and love we give them overrides those occasional dust ups.
I have two teenagers, but I remember those days. I promise, "This too shall pass." :)
ReplyDeleteIt just gets easier when they are older, because you can take their technology and car away. Hang in there!