Thursday, October 14, 2010

Holy Restriction Batman.....

So I have decided that I TOTALLY have restriction right now. Maybe a little too much but I am not willing to bet the farm on that just yet. I am able to get food down, I'm not sliming or PBing the only down side is I think the pain I'm feeling is heartburn. But not like the kind I had before I was banded. This is a sharper pain. But still I want to wait it out for a little while. I have an appt. with the doct 11/11 and if its still bad I may have him take a smidge out, but for now I will deal.

Tomorrow is weigh in day and I'm shooting for those 180's. They were still there this morning so we'll see. My exersise this week has been limited, but I am eating pretty well so I feel good about this week.

For something deeper. My husband told me last night that he thinks I should call the dr. and get back on some depression meds. I don't know how I feel about this. He wasn't being mean or rude, he's on them himself. But it makes me feel like less of a person somehow. I know that this is stupid considering advice that I have given out myself. But like everything its harder when its you. I'm still trying to process the comment from him. If I think about it long enough I burst into tears. So I try to ignore it, or make excuses. Some days I wonder what would happen if I just kept driving. Drive until I run out of gas.

9 comments:

  1. I think it would help to at least talk to a doctor. We all get into funks from time to time that's for sure...

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  2. Drive until you run out of gas? I like that idea. My thought is always give me an open road, with no cars, and just let me drive as far & as fast as I can for as long as I can.

    I'm sure you'll make the best decision for you regarding medication. :)

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  3. I'm with ya...
    I wonder if you left from your house and I left from my house and we drove towards each other - if we'd run out of gas at the same spot.

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  4. Its hard to admit when we need help. My feeling on this subject is talk to a doc and see if this is the answer for you. I'm sure he/she can help you whether he prescribes meds or not. Sometimes just talking it out helps.

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  5. My husband will sometimes ask me if I missed my dose of Lexapro. It always makes me feel a bit guilty, because I know that I was a total bee-yotch sometimes before I discovered the wonders of anti-depressants. I actually feel like more of a whole person now that I've started taking them--I always felt so fractured before.

    But, I know it's different for everyone. At least you have the type of relationship where your husband feels comfortable expressing his concerns to you.

    I have confidence that you'll know the right thing to do when the time comes.

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  6. I remember the day my mom shoved an anti-depressant in my hand and told me it was time I started taking them. I went upstairs and bawled my eyes out- thinking she didn't understand me anymore. I still feel sad when I think of that day- but our relationship is fine now. I'm also in a different place now, then I was that day. It's always hard to hear loved ones tell us these things- we want them to love us and remind us that we're perfect just the way we are. He wants you to be happy- just try to keep that in mind while you're thinking about this. Try not to hold it against him- just remember that he wants you to be happy. Are you happy?

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  7. I'm just getting to this blog and I get it Jenny. For real. Admitting you might needs meds is sort of like an alcoholic admitting they are an addict for the first time. It's a burden and a relief...good to admit, hard to face. Do what YOU need to do and know he came from a place of love....and he wants you to feel better....

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  8. Aww, I know it's tough to hear - but he loves you and just wants you to be happy. If that means getting some help from meds, then so be it. You've got a good guy, there.

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  9. Please don't take offense by what your husband said. My husband is on anti-depressants and I can tell when he isn't taking them. He was hesitant to start taking them, but his doctor told him to look at it this way - if he takes the pills and they don't help, then he doesn't need them. If he takes the pills and they work, he needs them.

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