Really not sure where to begin

Things are ok. Seriously this lady is running me ragged. I have no time to blog! LOL

This one is going to be quick because mentally I just can't write much tonight. I'm reading everyone's blogs I'm just not commenting too much right now. I will be catching up though because I miss you all terribly.

The devil wears Prada?

Today is her first day. The new boss. I'm not really sure if she wears Prada but I do think she was giving me the once over. She had a weak handshake. I hate weak handshakes. Oh, and I totally sold out and made her a welcome card. What has become of me?

I made the card because I didn't think I'd get to meet her at all since they have her schedule so booked up. I was having anxiety thinking that my current boss was going to try and take credit for the supplies in her office. So on the card I just wrote, Welcome to the team. I put some supplies in your office if you need anything my extension is_____. Not too cheesy but to the point.

Oh, and P.S. when my current boss did introduce to the new boss she TOTALLY tried to take credit for the supplies so I'm glad I wrote the note. I'm so glad I stocked up on the the buy one get one cranberry juice sale to go with my Vodka!!!!

3 month photos

All that stuff I said earlier about feeling good-um not so much! I really don't like these photos, but they have to go up.

Firsts

There are going to be a lot of firsts on this weight loss journey. I experienced a "first" this weekend. On Saturday we took the kids to see Shrek 4, which was really cute by the way. And I was getting ready which normally is an agonizing process. But when I looked in the mirror for the final once over, I wasn't horrified. I'm starting to see a waisteline, collarbones, 1 chin.......
I'm actually starting to feel better about the way I look. Its weird, but I'm not running from mirrors anymore. Not that my journey is done-trust me I know I still need work, but for the first time I don't feel so hopeless. And that feels pretty good.

I have this huge list of things that I want to do now. To the house, for myself. Its almost never ending. Brian (DH) thinks I have ADD because I move from one thing to the next. But what he doesn't get is that I've always wanted to do these things, I've just never felt good enough about myself to do them. Its like I didn't deserve them in some way so I never talked about them. I've started/continued to clean out the clutter at home. Slowly but surely I'm working on it. I actually went shopping last weekend and got a new shirt and sunglasses. I never go shopping for myself, especially clothing. I usually only buy accessories because they are one size fits all. I'm playing around with my makeup more than I used to. Trying new looks. I'm really wanting some hair extensions! They're really expensive. I found "Hairdo" by Ken Paves and Jessica Simpson that are clip in pieces that I might try when I reach another goal. Its kind of pricey, almost $100 but way cheaper than the real thing.

Also, I know I slacked with the photo comparisons. It rained the 3day weekend. 3 days locked in a house with a 4 and 5 yr old was not fun. I love them, but I was glad to get them off to school by Tuesday! Needless to say I never got into my bathing suit over the weekend. I wanted to take the photos the same way I did the first time, but that might not work out. Okay, this is super long and I hope it made sense and wasn't just rambling!!

Back to basics-

I totally slacked on my picture update but will get them up today/this weekend. Since I last updated nothing has really changed. I'm really trying to think positively, but I'm a natural born worrier. Its hard for me to change that about myself. I haven't slept through the night since I got the news from my current boss. I actually did get a call about a job I applied for and when I told the woman what I'm currently making she laughed at me and said I would never get that at their place. I finished up the phone interview politely but quickly. Who would want to work with someone that was that nasty to a candidate? But it left me a little bummed thinking about where I'll be in a month. All I know is where I am today, healthy, happy in my marriage, my children are healthy, and we have a 3day weekend here! So with that I need to get back to basics.

I weighed in today at 196-I have NO idea how that has happend. I am a stress eater and have eaten so poorly, also I have not exercised at all. But I will take it.

Goals for this week:

• I will measure my food this week. If I'm being honest I have no idea how much I'm eating at one sitting and I should. I can't rely on luck.
• I will work out 3x this week. A structured work out not just house cleaning. Which I do believe burns calories, but I can do better.
• I will continue to work on things around my house. 15 minutes per night + laundry.