Reflections

The end of the year always brings reflection. Good or bad it is what it is. I know that whatever happens in 2011 is up to me. I'm a huge Kelly Clarkson fan and one of her songs is really hitting home for me right now. Its called Sober. Its from one of her older albums but I wanted to share the lyrics. I think its about being sober from the intoxication of love, but for me being sober would be from the guilt and pressure I put on myself. Pressure to be the perfect wife/parent which I know is completely unattainable. I'll be lucky to get my kids through life with minimal therapy. I want to learn to let go in 2011........

And I don't know
This could break my heart or save me
Nothing's real
Until you let go completely
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers
But I know it's never really over

And I don't know
I could crash and burn but maybe
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time

Three months and I'm still breathing
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know
It's never really over, no

Wake up

Three months and I'm still standing here
Three months and I'm getting better yeah
Three months and I still am

Three months and it's still harder now
Three months I've been living here without you now
Three months yeah, three months

Three months and I'm still breathing
Three months and I still remember it
Three months and I wake up

Three months and I'm still sober
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers